In the first steps of putting pen to paper for this blog post I turned to Google to see what exactly the internet suggests when searching how to catch a cheater. In approximately 0.53 seconds, there were 8,280,000 results. So how does one narrow this down to really figure out what solution will work for them? Let’s break it down because while WikiHow.com and TruthAboutDeception.com might seem like they know what they’re talking about it, they think turning into a top-secret spy and monitoring your partner 24/7 is the way to go. Trust us, it isn’t.
If you suspect infidelity, contact the experts at ASG for a free and confidential consultation today!
Phone Apps and Technology
One of the top suggestions we get in our search for tools in proving infidelity are apps and programs you can sneakily put on your partner’s phone or computers. While many cheaters may seek out a new partner using dating apps like Tinder or social media sites like Facebook, it will be the least successful route to getting confirmation. Some of those, more than 8 million, sites I found even suggest stealing computer passwords, using audio recorders, and tracking devices. Guess what? In some areas, these are illegal! Should you want to catch a cheater without alerting them, it may be better not to end up in jail.
A quick suggestion from a professional investigator, don’t go to these extremes. Start simply by seeing how they are spending their time. Have they spent more time on their phone or electronic devices recently? Changes in behavior and patterns are reasons to be suspicious. Changes in work schedule/routines might be exactly what your partner says they are, but combined with other changes like adding a new passcode to their cell phone, it stands to reason that they may be seeing someone else.
Again, our search engine results for “How to Catch a Cheater” steer us in odd directions. Common guidance from those overwhelming number of websites is physical indicators. They take advice from song lyrics, such as “if you want to know if he loves you so, it’s in his kiss” (The Shoop Shoop Song by Betty Everett) or if your partner turns their shoulder when texting. Another article even headlines “You Can Spot Evidence Your Partner is Cheating All Over Their Stupid Face”. Seems a little harsh for such a deeply personal and emotional conundrum, in this author’s opinion.
While there may be some truth to what these articles say, but you don’t need to become an expert in body language or read the latest psychological journal on eye movements as they relate to people lying. If you are suspicious your partner is cheating, it will likely be because you have been with them long enough to note they changed how they behave. Signs of infidelity can include taking better care of their physical appearance or showering immediately when they get home to remove the smell of the other person’s perfume or cologne. There is no reason to overcomplicate noticing differences in their behavior.
Simple solution to catch a cheater – pay attention! If storing an extra nice outfit in a gym bag is out of the norm, then something out of normal routine is happening.
As a professional investigator, it is aggravating to see television shows and movies depicting a character dressing up in costumes and following around their partner to see if they are cheating. Again, cue the spy music. Some of our 8 million search results suggest borrowing a car from someone that your partner doesn’t know and having a backup story like ‘running errands’ at the ready. Nope, that is not a good plan. Okay, maybe the cover story isn’t such a bad idea, but it doesn’t need to be contrived.
The intricacies of surveillance go well beyond the spur of the moment choice to follow them. A good start to surveillance to catch a cheater starts with a well-thought plan of action. As you can expect, hiring an expert is recommended (give us a call at 248-306-8800 – small commercial over for now). Start with an average day where you know your partner’s schedule. It isn’t best to start with a time with a special occasion. A work holiday party may seem like an ideal time to catch the person in the act of cheating, but the risks include last minute changes in plan, a venue where even the subject might not know they are going, or your partner’s heightened awareness of their surroundings. A regular routine of gym, work, picking up a kid from sports practice, etc. give a good indication of where they should be and at what times. An investigator can start at one of these other locations without an inkling of suspicion from your partner and they do this kind of work constantly so the investigator will have a better idea of the route a person could take. Running this on your own will undoubtedly cause your partner to be suspicious and change their plans if they are being unfaithful.
Catching a cheater doesn’t need to be the jumping over rooftops, hiding in the bushes, sneaking into keypad-locked rooms scenarios that we are led to believe. Simplify it to what your partner does on a regular day and when the infidelity may be occurring.
Catching a cheating spouse or partner is a personal issue and unique to each person. It can stir feelings of embarrassment, sadness, feeling like you’re not enough, and beyond. Yes, a search engine can compile countless articles of people who have felt the same and want to share what they learned. It does not all necessarily relate to your situation or even logically make sense to try. (Do we need to recap that recording audio of someone is illegal without their consent?)
Contacting a professional investigator is an excellent choice and they can walk you through options that may be best suited to you. If you want to seek a divorce and present evidence to convince a judge to make a decision in your favor, then contacting an attorney should also be considered to see what the best course of action will be. Don’t get bamboozled by web articles and movies, contact experts to help you, simple as that.
If you are looking to consult with a private investigator about a possible cheating spouse, give us ASG Investigations a call today at (248) 306-8800. The consultation is completely free and confidential.